I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize