I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
