I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
sex in a hospital.. check
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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