You made me cry and you don't even care
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i wish my penis had a tongue
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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