I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
