Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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