I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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