You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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