is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
