come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
