so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
