Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize