remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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