Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
