Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
