It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
