he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
