we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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