I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
