btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
foreskin is a definite game changer
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
