ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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