listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
