Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
