I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
