I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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