she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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