ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize