well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
