Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
