Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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