It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
