But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
