Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
