I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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