Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
