I think im going to throw up on grandma
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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