Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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