I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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