dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
