ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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