At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
