can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The adults are the big ones right?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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