Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
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