just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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