Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
