Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
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