I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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