How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You dont lie about slip and slides
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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