So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
