I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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