part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
