I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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