yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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