I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
