people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
