last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
