Can Purell be used as lube?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
