It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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