Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I smell like Dick and happiness
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
